It be only befitting I should finish the year by writing my last post in the vernacular. Am in a Xicano mood. So I spiffed up the good old haunt Yonder Lies It. Mind you, it is the only blog that has consistently kept its name since its inception. Lest you’ve forgotten I maintain several other blogs. Well, the short lived xicano blogsphere vanished or I just ain’t aware of its whereabouts. I don’t wanna go down that path. I believe I already kissed the old porslin queen as much as Richard Rodriguez puked red and green in an Argument with my Mexican father. There is very little to add up for the year 2007 in English or xicanismo at that.
Though I still find myself at odds with a language that for so long tortured me by means of questioning my English fluency and nativeness to only come to Sweden and realize how deeply ingrained English is in me only to default to Spanish as my primary source of communication all unconsciously off course. Suddenly, Spanish became the language to be had and English ceased to be a source of joy. Before blogger I ate, thought and wrote in English. There was no room for Spanish.
I have no ready answer for this. I have put forth the question several times before and the answer eludes me. English, after so many years of struggling to make it mine and suddenly realizing it is mine become a lost cause only to be taken for granted and never straddle more the fear of abandonment. It is a small victory of sorts for me. Yet I now long and miss the old chap so much that I can not quench my thirst to hear good old English again.
The idea that am an English native speaker tends to work in many weird ways in Sweden. They see a brown, black haired person that speaks fluent English and they stand baffled before me. They don’t expect a person like me. A so called non-American being so American. Many fail to understand the multicultural aspects of our society even though many strive and look towards the US as a model for this very multi-kulti, as is it called in Sweden, society.
The fact that I lack American citizenship, political at that, does create confusion in the best of them. Specially to the ones that fear Americans. They can then be free to speak their mind without having to offend the very entity they fear most: the gringo American. I stand before them defending a culture that denies me yet a culture I form part of. Am baffled at it in as much or moreso then they do themselves.
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I suppose that the best of 2007 was that I leave it as a teacher. Here in Sweden people tend to wear their titles as a pride badge of sorts. They actually play the part. It is not in my nature to do so because the Swede tends to become a sorts of authority on the matter which it is not to be questioned at all. I am of a different nature. I cannot be that authority yet. It must be my americanness that delimits my ego or vanity from acquiring said attitude. It is deeply engrained in me that I can always do more and better before I can even contemplate the idea that I am a teacher. An apprentice of the craft am I for sure.
I have learned a lot yet I feel I have loads more to learn. I am not done learning yet despite the fact that it is advised I stop from learning at my age. I am supposed to let go. Can I let go?
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There is, however, a small bit of comfort that I am a teacher because I am an authority on something, in this case, the English and Spanish language. Moreso because I am a native speaker of said languages.
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Mexican elections
6/20/2006 in Foreign Affairs, Xicano Commentary by Julio Sueco
Alright, alright already ese!
So I’ve been recycling news yet there are less folk out there concentrating on the mexican elections than there are concentrating on it. Erhm, did that make sense?
Either way, these elections matter. Lots. Beyond lots. Way beyond. (ok Julio, we get your drift.) I got the gut feeling that mexicans, some of us either way, are causing some kind of like dent somewhere and policy is being formed to mend the dent. Riddles. What am saying is that even though mexicans abroad seem not to be interested in mexican politicians my hunch tells me this is not entirely true. Those in the business of interpreting these kind of things tend to like huge numbers in order to make predictions and tend, as well, to be off the Southwest area making residency instead in seats of power. The Southwest has a life of its own that many suits fail to see.
I have argued that most mexicans who vote in the elections rather take the highway and use the oportunity to visit the motherland instead of going the IFE way. However, there are quite a proportionate number of mexicans who fear deportation the moment they come near a mexican embassy though most mexicans would not have an idea of the kind of services and embassy and its consulates offer the mexican citizen because said places are mostly seen as an establishment of the upper classes. This is very much ingrained in us. I remember how I felt the very first time I sat a foot on the premises of a mexican consulate. One has to understand that the mexican government is at times little interested on its subjects and when they show interest one does well in being cautious. Those who do know tend to be already familiar with the shenanigans of said institutions. These are the people that go and vote in places like Tijuana as they did back in 2000. They are known as emigrados. Amongst other things. Be that as it may, the politization of the mexican masses, illegal, legal, mexican-americans and other identity contraptions of our Gente is in full swing in the good’ol USA.
My question here pertains the Xicano community since the political leverage must balance somewhere and will either alienate or coalesce. The Tomás Rivera Center gave out a lofty little phamplet outlining some of its ideas in 1994 titled Latinos, Global Change, and American Foreign policy. In summary, it predicted that we were to start flexing muscle in our country of origins but since the Bush gang took over the White House they stopped listening to anyone outside their circle of realities. Nonetheless Xicanos who tend to be in positions of power understand the importance of México. Though we haven’t seen much evidence for the aforementioned for obvious reasons. The fear machinery that is intrinsic to American politics has the Latino community in a weird state of mind since most latinos have adherence to their homeland and this is not seen particularly well by the powers to be and is a strategic tool to keep that population at bay lest they begin flexing muscle as seen on May 1st. This in turn keeps many latino leaders off the ramp light as was evidenced by the L.A. Mayor who decided to take of to Texas on the most important day in American politics in many years.
I think that his fear mongering will soon stop having its effect on Latinos. The more they assert their americanness and start painting their own America instead of having others paint it for them. The sooner the better.
If Manuel López Obrador wins I think this idea will accelarate since many suspect that many mexicanamericans will lean towards the PRD. This in turn will fuel a more direct engagement with mexicanamericans and start building the necessary bridges to create a stronger Xicano community both economically and politically as well. Fox realized this only too late as evidenced by his flurry of trips to the USA where he met representatives of the mexicanamerican community. I believe gringo mentality will have a hard time swallowing this idea of a more present México in their midst. We have been in their midst for a long time. We have adapted. Its their turn to do the same in kind.
Related: What a wall can’t stop